Four-Walled World

His heart and his mind pounding a thousand reasons,
a thousand reasons that became question s without answers,
reasons that refuse to provide him with a truthful meaning,
for everything seemed lost, bound to misery,
bound to everything that is imperfect and saddened by these decaying thoughts,
his heart sank deeply into an enormous void,
in which darkness reigned,
and no contact with all that was mundane was worth,
for there was no other way to persist,
for only shadows would cast themselves upon him,
wearing his soul down, throwing off all bounds,
averting his own consciousness to oblivion.
In vain he tried to gather his wits together,
just to be cast away in solitude,
in which his heart cast a thousand tears
and kept on bleeding hopelessly and painfuly,
and it desired to keep on going, to keep on beating,
only wishing to outrun the speed of pain,
and acclerate the coming of his final dawn.
Trying hard to find a reason to sustain his own existence,
seemed a painful endeavour to be fulfilled,
for the more he lived, the more senseless it all became,
the more daggers for his bleeding heart heart he would find,
and no healing for alleviating his soul in pain was to be found,
and once again he prayed for all to come to an end,
for his thoughts only provided him with an appalling reality,
that would devour all his essence,
everything that compounded his spiritual being,
a reality that would turn his dreams into fears and nightmares,
and in which he would be absorbed,
until everything in him disintegrated and crumble to a mercyless death,
which would not spare his soul to remain,
not even as a memory.
The more he beheld this horrendous reality,
the more he abhord the fact of his own consciousness and existence,
which somehow chained him to the ground of such a decadent destruction,
and so, he wept in dismay for he knew he would be a prey of his own reality,
inevitable and inexorably.
Slowly he gave in to a four-walled world,
in which his journey from mundanity came to a halt,
leaving him clinging to a lugubrious thought of unconsciouness for what is real,
leaving him in his mental prison, that nevertheless provided him with freedom.
His mind and his heart, pounded a million reasons
that became questions without answers,
and he realised his whole being laid adrift in a world of contempt and disdain,
that he tried desperately to shake loose from... in vain,
and he prayed from his four-walled world for it all come.... but to an end...

RQ
Moscow
5/5/10