A neverending struggle it seems to be,
and unfulfilled desire that urges to be released,
to anchor itself deep in my heart,
which has so many times been stabbed.
As a denial of existence this feeling is,
it shuts its doors and I no more persist,
for my worn out mind and soul give up,
I desist and give in to a dead life's lust.
I trudge my way in its path,
a thorny way that tears me apart,
yet I conceal my pursuit,
for it is all far-fetched...way far,
and my feelings to be relased fin no way to outburst,
and instead, shadows claw in my way,
making it all absurd.
It all seems grotesque and filled up in dismay,
what I am seeking for dies away and becomes pain.
In a twilight of life my feelings pass away,
and what I desired hides its face,
there is no more to say,
and this pain of mine seems not to alleviate.
RQ
Moscow
20/4/10
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