Thoughts

What is the light of the moon if I have not got you with me?
There seems to be no use for this bunch of roses that I carry endlessly in a futile hope of finding you.
Moonlight enlightens my tear drops and stirs the pain inside, yet this sadness and this pain are blessed in such a unique way, that they just make me feel human one more time, for they fuel and ignite my desire for you.
Might this be a wicked game for this so-called life?
Is this an endless and hopeless endevour of trying to find you while I fool myself in believing it is still possible?
My roses are fading, yes, yet the innermost feeling of still believing in you blooms in a desperate attempt to carry on and not to give up.
The moonlight bathes my skin, protecting me perhaps, leading me to new ways of thinking, yet my old way of missing you still remains.
Could I still behold the beauty and simplicity of nocturnal rain and its uniqueness if you are nowhere around me?
Is it still possible that things and feelings keep the same value although finding you would apperar to be just impossible?
Oh light of Heaven, do not let me fall into the darkened pit of desperation for I lack of means for defending myself, and my mind seems to be loosing the grip on reason, and my feelings seem to pave the way, adorned with fantasies and bautiness.
Why do hide from me?
Why do not you let your face be bathed by this moonlight?
Have you not seen this suffering overcoming on me?
It seems not enough all the suffering and torment that I have been through to be granted love by you?
I may be weary in my soul and my roses may wither away but I still have some untouched will and some humanity left inside.
I need to find you desperately and get rid of this sea of tormenting sadness which refuses to abandon me and sucks me inside its human universe.

RQ
7/01/10
Moscow